Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Informative Essay- First draft

Beck Echevarria Adderall. The Double Edged Sword  From the very first time we stepped into a classroom at age 6, our parents have repeated one thing about school over and over again; it comes first. The number one priority that comes before the Spring musical, after-school sports, debate team meetings and even volunteer work on the weekends is, school. I vividly recall the first day I walked into Mrs. Lockheart's kindergarten class, a lot of color on the walls, funny posters and a big Green board. I immediately felt sick to my stomach and ran out of the room into my mothers arms. After some words of encouragement She said to me"...So you better go back in there! Make a lot of friends and give class your best effort today, this will be your job for the next 16 years of your life - you don't want to start off on the wrong foot! “My mother’s way of stressing the importance of my future education was a little harsh, but in all retrospect, she was right. I am now 20 years old, and for the past 14 years of my life, school has been the one constant that has never been taken down from my pedestal of top priorities. For 12 years my parents had me doing the same routine: wake up, go to school, do my after school activities, get home in time for dinner and then homework until bedtime. I remember counting down the day I would to leave to college, the day I would finally be free of my parent’s watchful eye. Leaving home meant I got to break my boring, repetitive routine - get a job, have an apartment, do whatever I wanted. If I only knew then what I know now...  Speaking from the perspective of a working 20 year old student, college is hard. The stress of managing 5 classes, turning in all of my assignments on time, and  maintaining a full time job is hard enough. But throw in a healthy sleeping schedule, a social life and finals week on top of that and I just turned into a very stressful individual. If only there were a magic happy pill that could make you work as efficiently as possible while being in a positive and focused mood throughout the day...keep dreaming right? Wrong. Adderall is a stimulant that targets your central nervous system. It affects chemicals in the brain and nerves that contribute to hyperactivity and impulse control.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Beck. I love your paper. I just have one suggestion which might help. Your first paragraph has about 18 sentences, although there is not a max amount of sentences allowed when writing paragraphs it seems a little too long. I myself like to write long paragraphs too sometimes but the problem I found when reading your Informative paragraph was that it felt more like a really interesting narrative rather than an informative essay. Reason being is that you only mentioned the topic (which I'm looking forward to learning more about by the way) at the very end of an 18 sentence paragraph. Great job. Looking forward to reading the rest.

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  2. Very good start. I enjoyed reading it. I do agree with David that it feels more like a narrative rather than an informative. But im sure the paragraphs that follow will be more about Adderall.

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